Why can’t things just stay okay for me? I cant find comfort in anything anymore. Maybe the shower tub. I find comfort in it.. Even if it’s just for a second. And cutting, ive done a lot of that lately. Today has just not been my day. If its not one thing, it’s the other and to be quite honest, I no longer want to talk to anyone about anything that goes on. I don’t want anyone to see me at my weak point. You know that moment when you’ve decided you no longer want to try or put effort into anything? I’m at that point. Days just seem to drag on.

Betrayed.

I was in Rockwall. Getting away, having lunch with a friend. I didn’t realize her work had moved to Rockwall already. I saw her car and i felt so torn and so upset. Then her boss, of the guy they call dinosaur saw me, asked me how I was and if I wanted her to come out and talk for a little. He remembers me. I wanted to just look away and not answer but I simply replied with, “It’s okay. Thank you though, I’m just out having lunch.”

We walked it off. She told me it would get better, reassured me. I’m fine, I just didnt want to see her. If I wouldve I dont know how I would react. 

howdoesitfuckingfeel:

do you?

coming home sucks. I dont want to be here. I just want to stay gone forever. Its not fair. I keep making these mistakes. being reckless,careless. That’s not me.

they paasesed the fuck out so we’re driving home trying 

careless. who cares right?

Bong ripppssss. With Wesley Aaron Jerica mmm down the street party party

One shot two shot three shot floor.

Fuuuuuuuck. Feelsso good and so rightytt.

Fuuuuck it alllllll. Road trip to anywhere after freebirds with jericaaaaaa!

their fake pots brownie are yummy~

It’s an instant reaction as soon as I see the words on my screen. No matter how deep I cut, their words will always cut the deepest. 

I’m fine. I swear.